A very close friend and one of my biggest supporters visits every year and for the second year in a row voiced their concern for me:
“I just don’t understand why it is taking so long…you are so talented. You should be making a good living by now”
My response was gentle and kind because I know my friend wants nothing but the best for me, but I told her that what you just told me is exactly why people who are not as stubborn and determined as me give up. This is why people quit trying to create the life they want. She looked at me a little puzzled.
Self-doubt is not caused by lack of self-confidence or belief in one’s own abilities. Self-doubt is caused by friends, family, spouses, peers and co-workers, etc. Self-doubt is listening to the voices of love and concern and trying to prove them wrong instead of just trying to focus on creating the life you want. Stop listening. You are not on a timer. You are not on someone else’s roadmap or timeline. Success takes time and hard work and focus. You do not have to prove your worth or your path to anyone but yourself.
(or forbearance) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances such as: perseverance and/or the ability to wait in the face of delay; provocation without responding in negative annoyance/anger; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties (Source: Wikipedia)
Focus on yourself and keep learning, creating and moving forward. It may take one year and it may take five years of grinding and hard work, but there is no deadline and you cannot let others get in your way by planting seeds of doubt.
Nobody has a clue what you are doing and they have no idea how long it should take. If you think you have what it takes and your intentions are good, do not stop and do not let comments or concerns influence you to give up early. Smile and say thank you to everyone who has your back and then get back to the task at hand.
You are not on a race to the finish line and your loved ones do not have a stopwatch in their hands. You are not on anyone’s hook but your own. It will take as long as you need to figure it out and it will be worth every ounce of effort you are putting into it.
Self-doubt is agreeing with the concerns and doubts of others. Agree to disagree and do your thing, always and forever.
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